There are three ways to use the new PKR:
Or mix and match! Have fun as you get the information you need!
What is patience? Why is it so important for parents to have?
My dictionary has a simple definition, “The capacity, quality, or fact of being patient.” OK, what does “patient” mean?
“Enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness.” “Tolerant, understanding, not hasty or impulsive.”
Easy to figure out why parents need to cultivate the art of patience with their children. Kids rarely inflict physical pain (my babies pulled my long hair and it really hurt) but they sure can be difficult, provocative and annoying. And tolerance and understanding are positive parental traits.
Recent letter: “How I can have more patience with my 5yr old and 1yr old daughters? I feel like a bad mother when I lose my patience but I have no idea where to start.”
Most of the questions I get from a person who calls herself a “bad mother” has to do with this issue. We all feel terrible when we see that look in our child’s eye that reveals we have inflicted sadness or pain.
HOW TO LEARN PATIENCE
• Start by figuring out what triggers your loss of patience. Bet I can guess: when you are tired or stressed, or both kids are demanding your attention at the same time.
• If you are stressed or tired too often, figure out your own personal road to stress reduction. If you have triplets, find help. If you have too much on your plate, cut down.
• Utilize time-honored tricks to calm yourself down: take deep breaths , count to 10. If you possibly can find something funny in the situation, LAUGH. Or make it a funny situation: “Silly Mommy spilled the milk!”
• Take a PARENTAL TIME-OUT to cool off if you are really heated up. Make sure your kids are safe. Go to your room and calm down.
• Use SELF-TALK. Tell yourself children do better and behave better when the parents are calm.
• Revisit your own childhood. Remember any times when your mom or grandmother spent hours reading to you or teaching you how to roll a pie crust? Realization: They probably had other things they wanted to be doing.
• Make your home a peaceful and quiet place as this will reduce stress.
• Lose those bad mother feelings. They are counterproductive. Instead feel like a mother who loves her kids and is going to try new strategies to deal with them. Browse through my website: lots of good hints there.
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