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GROWN-UP PARENTS

I recently received this email: “I read that Dr.Heins was a mother and I would like to know if she has ever had strong-willed or stubborn kids and not felt the need to spank them which it so lays out at least three times in the book of Proverbs in the Bible. I would also like to know if she has heard of where a parent disciplines a child in love and that child later spanks another child with the same motives or if the child really hits another across the face with vengeful motives?”

Of course I felt like spanking my kids. I’ve never met a parent who hasn’t. And I even admit to a rare swat across a bottom– never on the face, never with love, always in anger and always regretted.

Why did I feel anger and not act on it? Because I grew up before my kids did.

Let’s think about characteristics of GROWN-UP PARENTS:

* A grown-up parent controls his or her temper and does not act out strong emotions.

* A grown-up parent is responsible and takes parenting seriously.

* A grow-up parent respects himself or herself and accepts the role of the parent-in-charge.

* A grown-up parent respects his or her child.

* A grown-up parent knows the difference between disciplining a child and demeaning a child which is why this parents never slaps a child across the face in “love” or uses scripture as an excuse.

* A grown-up parent realizes that no human being is perfect, that each of us is a work-in-progress, especially a child who takes a long time to learn how to be a grown-up which is why having grown-up parents is so important to children.

* Hopefully we parents manage to grow up before we have kids but if you suspect your growth is not yet complete, study the above list carefully.

PS For those who don’t already know the answer, a child who has been slapped hits another child because kids copy their role models.

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