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DO NO HARM!

Parents must discipline their children and they must do things that make their children unhappy like insisting the child take medicine when necessary. It’s part of a parent’s job description.

But the savvy parent realizes that he or she should not do things that hurt the child either physically or emotionally.

What are the areas that parents should avoid?

* DON’T SPANK

It hurts and insults the child, it doesn’t work, it gives a bad message that it’s OK for big people to hit little people, and children treated violently often turn into bullies themselves.

* DON’T VERBALLY SPANK

Many parents who wouldn’t dream of spanking physically strike out verbally–and cause lots of emotional pain. “You dummy!”; “What a slob you are–there’s food all over the table!”; “You’re so clumsy you’ll never be able to hit a ball!”

* Avoid all counterproductive ways of communicating like threats, screaming and yelling, sarcasm, nagging. All these boring, repetitive unhealthy kinds of talk don’t work. Why? Because kids tune them out. Also avoid put-downs when talking about the child because you may be overheard.

* DON’T SAY THE CHILD IS BAD, IT’S THE BEHAVIOR THAT’S BAD.

Children have a habit of becoming what they are called. Your words might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

* DON’T COMPARE CHILDREN OR ASSIGN ROLES

Don’t compare children either favorably or unfavorably. Deal with each child’s behavior individually. Avoid saying things like “He’s a handful!” or “She’s the lazy one!” or You’re stubborn just like your father!”

* DON’T EXPECT A BEHAVIOR BEFORE THE CHILD IS READY

A child must be developmentally ready to be toilet trained, for example. If you buy one book on parenting, make it a book which covers child development. Read ahead of your child’s chronological age so you know what’s coming.

* DON’T MODEL UNWANTED BEHAVIOR

Why exhibit a behavior you don’t want your child to exhibit right back at you?

* DON’T THREATEN TO WITHHOLD YOUR LOVE

Don’t ever say, “I don’t–or won’t–love you!” Children are terrified by the thought of losing their parents or their love.

* DON’T BE AFRAID OF YOUR CHILD

Don’t be afraid of your child or afraid of your role as disciplinarian. Never avoid legitimate correction of the child’s behavior because you think this will somehow traumatize the child. Truly traumatized children are those whose parents have ignored them–not corrected them with love and understanding.

TELL YOUR FRIENDS THEY CAN GET A PROFESSIONAL, PERSONAL, AND PRIVATE ANSWER TO THEIR PARENTING QUESTIONS BY GOING TO info@ParentKidsRight.com