There are three ways to use the new PKR:

  1. Browse and click on color-coded boxes that appear as if by magic as you scroll down.
  2. Click on a category for all the ParenTips under that particular category.
  3. Go to the Site Map (link) for an:
    • a) alphabetical list of all ParenTips.
    • b) A list of all 8 categories with every ParenTip in that category listed alphabetically.

Or mix and match! Have fun as you get the information you need!

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BANISH SPANKING

Lots of parents click on to my anti-spanking ParenTips and/or ask me individual questions about how to kick the habit.

PREVENTION

The best way to stop spanking? Never start! New parents, preferably before conception but definitely before the birth of the child, should have a heart-to-heart talk about how they plan to discipline their children. This starts with talking about their own childhoods, how they were disciplined, what they liked about how they were disciplined and what they hated.

I suggest each parent think about how to discipline his or her future child and write it down. Swap papers, not to grade your partner but to see similarities and differences. Negotiate if your ideas differ. Talk to other parents. Read up on Discipline (my own book ParenTips is available at the website). Discuss your feelings. Negotiate if there are wide differences in your discipline ideas.

Because spanking used to be universal (most of us were spanked as children) and is now controversial this is the first issue you should chew on.

WHY BANISH SPANKING?

I admit to getting a bit weary of writing about this, but will explain one more time. What’s wrong with spanking? Let me count the wrongs.

Spanking:

1. gives the child the message that it’s OK for big people to hit little people.

2. models aggressive behavior as a method of resolving conflict and is associated with increased aggression in children.

3. doesn’t work (studies comparing spanking with other methods of discipline show its ineffectiveness).

4. hurts the child and makes the child angry which in turn takes away the best thing parents have going to socialize the child…the child’s loving desire to please the parent they love.

5. breaks the 11th Commandment: Respect thy children so they will learn to respect themselves, you, and others. We don’t hit or hurt those we respect.

Contrary to folk lore (and all the people out there who say, “I was spanked and I turend out OK!”) spanking is NOT the only way to establish parental authority, deter undesirable behavior, or get the child’s attention. Don’t believe me? Read all of the Heins ParenTips on Discipline.

HOW TO BANISH SPANKING

• KNOW YOURSELF and if you are ever so angry you want to spank, take a parental time out.

• KNOW YOUR CHILD. Read about child development so you have an idea about what to expect from your child; spend time with your child so you learn about your child’s personality and temperament.

• ACCEPT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be an IN-CHARGE PARENT.

• LEARN EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUES.

TELL YOUR FRIENDS THEY CAN GET A PROFESSIONAL, PERSONAL, AND PRIVATE ANSWER TO THEIR PARENTING QUESTIONS BY GOING TO info@ParentKidsRight.com