There are three ways to use the new PKR:
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Not a week goes by that I don’t get a question from a mother about yelling at her kids.
“I am the mother of a 2- year- old boy and 7- year- old girl. I yell at my son a lot and I am afraid the damage has already been done. If I call out his name even when I am not angry, he is easily jolted. How do I reverse that fear that I instilled in my son? I love my son so much that I cry after I yell at him and even apologize to him. I feel as though I have become a military monster mom. These words of anger usually pop out of nowhere and I notice it happens near the menstrual time. What kind of remedy would you have for a hormonally-imbalanced mother? Otherwise, I am actually a very nice person!”
Brings back memories. I was a premenstrual witch.
However there are times that ALL mothers get frustrated or angry. None of us has the power to keep our lives 100% stress-free whether the stress comes from hormones or pressures at work or worries about a sick relative.
The trick is to insert time between the flare of anger and acting on it. Time between the FEELING and the ACTION. Not an easy task but everybody can learn how.
Some helpful hints:
* BEFORE YOU EXPLODE OR DROP, STOP!
* TAKE A PARENTAL TIME OUT. Make sure the kids are safe and go to your room until the feeling is under control. Or count to ten. Or take 5 deep breaths.
* If you know you are stressed or premenstrual use time-honored methods to reduce your angry reaction to the annoying little annoying things in life including your kids. Schedule less. Play relaxation tapes and soft music. Take a nap when your child does.
* Try PREVENTION of angry outbursts. Become a calmer person whatever time of the month it is. Use Yoga, or meditation or relaxation classes.
Also If you are a yeller or a screamer, use the WHISPER TECHNIQUE. Every time you interact with your child get close enough to whisper. If you find your voice getting louder or you start to yell, quickly switch to a whisper.
If you do frighten your child by yelling 1) Apologize. 2) Promise to do better. 3) Ask the child to remind you to whisper.
No question, it is hard to change any behavior completely or quickly but if you are persistent and motivated it will happen.
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